« Memory… is the diary that we all carry about with us » (Oscar Wilde).
As parents, we can help our child create in his memory happy and supporting anchors that will remind him his whole life that he is a winner. It sounds very technical and sophisticated, but in reality it is very easy! Many parents already do thisinstinctively!
Principles :
- Our memory retains emotionally charged events better than boring ones. It’s the emotional charge, not the importance of the information, which builds the strongest footprint in memory.
2. Pleasant events linked to positive emotions are usually better remembered than unpleasant ones.
3. An important part of a child’s self-confidence is based on all those experiences that he has set in his memory. A child who has a “bag” filled with pleasant memories, is advancing with more confidence in life and in himself.
When :
- All the happy activities in which the child can show his abilities.
- All the competitions in which he emerges victorious.
- All the moments that the child is expecting with joy and enthusiasm: parties, Christmas and winter holidays, summer vacations, trips and hikes.
- All the events to which the child can participate in a useful way, in a way that highlights his capabilities to make other people happy: birthdays of grandparents and parents, birthdays of brothers and sisters.
How :
Step 1 Unless your child competes in that activity, assign him a role, a responsibility which suit his interests and skills (Make by himself a gift. Prepare or decorate a birthday cake. Draw a greeting card. Draw the places you’ve visitedtogether. Write to Santa Claus tips on how he can protect himself from the cold or some secret recipes for teas. Explain to others participants to a trip things what he has already learned about the place you are going to visit).
Step 2 Take pictures of your child doing his « job » !
Step 3 Congratulate your child or thank him!
Step 4 Whenever you have the opportunity, praise your child with realism to other family members, friends, relatives, neighbours.
Step 5 Collect in a box all the pictures, all the medals, diplomas, objects, drawings, all the evidences of what your child has achieved.
Step 6 When your child is facing difficult moments, reopen the box. Take out some objects and ask your child to tell you the story of that drawing, of that picture, of that medal. Help your child to reactivate the memory of all thosehappy events where he was strong, smart and joyful.