Author Archives: Simona

The PAF Method – Partnership Against Fear

The PAF method is an educational 4 steps method to overcome children’s fear.

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Based on a partnership between children and parents, this method proposes to construct/ build/ create healthy, effective patterns to overcome fears but also patterns which enable parents and children to tackle various difficult situations.

baietelsingurelThe PAF method covers both intellectual and emotional development of the child and stimulates his intelligence and creativity while also reinforcing his self confidence.  Many parents were amazed to discover that using the simple secrets simples keys, they were able to greatly improve the behavior, knowledge, talents, skills and creativity of their child.

http://www.euronews.com/2015/01/16/don-t-worry-be-happy-learning-to-conquer-fears-and-anxieties/

The basic principles of the PAF method can be also used when the child has no self-confidence, when he is shy,  when you want to prepare him for the arrival of a new baby or for his first day of school!  The PAF method does not deal with phobia! 

Any parent can use the PAF method. No need to have a PhD in Educational science and in Psychology. No need to have expensive teaching materials. No need for a particular area or a particular time. It is enough to be a loving parent.  We will work with  your skills, your talents, yours hobbies and interests. You will be amazed about your treasure, about how great you can be!

The PAF method is not a “schooling” method, it is a great adventure.  An adventure in which you and your child will share joy, happy time, love!

Copyright © 2014 simonaleroy

How should parents respond to children’s fear?

There are many ways in which parents respond to children’s fears: going from authority, to indifference, to the “parent that solves everything.” Apparently these methods work!

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A child whose authoritarian parent asks him to no longer talk about fear, will stop talking about it. A child whose parent says:  “Your fear is stupid. Don’t be a baby ” – will cease to talk about that fear. But the fact that the child does not talk about fear, the fact that he does not show certain symptoms does not mean that he is not afraid anymore. He will continue to seek a solution. Sometimes these searches, this fight will make him stronger, more creative. But the risk is that the child will not no longer trust his parents, he will hide from them. Another risk is that he will not find healthy ways of solving the problem, he will find unhealthy methods that will bring him distress, relational problems, failure.

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At the other extreme, is the parent who solves everything. This is the parent who, in difficult situation will tell to his child: “You’re afraid. OK. Daddy /mum puts his superman costume and solves everything. You just sit and wait.” The method works. Every time the parent comes and solves the problem, the parent is a hero, the child is happy. Noticing what the parent is doing, how he is acting, what he is saying, the child will learn some effective methods of defence against fear. The child learns to trust others, and more importantly, he understands that he is loved. But even in this situation, there is unfortunately a risk. The risk that the child does not trust in his own strength, or he cannot develop his creativity, his imagination. In difficult situation that he will face, he will not builds solutions, he will desperately seek for another person to solve the problem. 

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The method that I am proposing you, the PAF method, is based on a partnership between children and parents. This method proposes to construct/ build/ create healthy, effective patterns to overcome fears but also patterns which enable parents and children to tackle various difficult situations.

The PAF method has very good results for all many different types of children’s fears. In the last 15 years, hundreds of parents applied it with excellent results. Many years after they have applied the method, parents still call me to tell me how well it worked and how much it has changed their lives.

This method is a very effective and useful tool for parents in order to overcome fears BUT does not deal with phobia!

Why should parents get involved in overcoming the child’s fear?

Many of you have heard that children’s fears are, in a way, a normal stage of development. Most children, at a predictable age, experiment fears. For example: the fear of darkness, monsters, bugs. These fears come and go.

So, why parents should get involved in their children’s efforts to overcome fears? Why not just sit and wait? After all, children are intelligent, creative and they can find solutions themselves.

Parents have to act!

First of all, because fear is an emotion that cannot be neglected. It affects the well being of the child, his capacities to learn and to relate to others.

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In many cases the behaviour and the neediness of a child, who lives under the tyranny of a fear, generates a negative impact on all the family. Fear creates stressful, difficult situations for the child and for his family. It is impossible to watch and wait. Those situations need solutions urgently.

All children are looking for solutions against fear. But their life experience, their knowledge, their physical strength is limited and there are many situations in which children will not find the most effective or healthy methods. In many situations children can use wrong strategies that will bring them distress, relational problems, failures.

Fear is not just a difficult step. Fear is a crossroad in the development of a child. Because in those particular moments, the child learns, builds, creates and tests the methods, the strategies that he will use in all kind of difficult situations. In those particular moments the child constructs the image that he has about himself. So helping the child to cope and build the most effective methods is important for his general development.

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The experience of a fear, can lead the child to become stronger, wiser, resilient,  a winner. The experience of fear can also pull down a child’s self confidence, it can comfort him in the idea that in life he should never use attack strategies. That it is better to run and hide!

We cannot protect our children from every stressful situation. Life brings us each day such situations. We cannot banish fears from our children’s lives. But what we can and must do is help children to find STRATEGIES that can transform the experience of fear into something which will make them stronger, wiser, more adapted to face life! Winners!

By using what parents and children have best, by using children and parents’ knowledge, interests, competences and hobbies, The PAF method stimulates the child at many levels and contributes to his harmonious developement! 

 

 

 

 

Copyright © 2014 simonaleroy

 

The PAF method course

The PAF METHOD course is divided into 4 modules, of approximately 20 minutes each. Each module corresponds at one step. Very simple, very clear.

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Starting from scratch I will guide you to get to something really exciting, a project, activities which will enable you to overcome fear and to improve your child’s life. Step by step I will give you some secret keys. I will help you put together everything you and your child do and love best.

Step 1: we will observe the fear. Why fear occurs in children?  I will explain you fear in terms of simple factors that enable you to act effectively.

Step 2 : we will turn our attention to the child. We will look closely at his talents, his skills and his strategies in order to solve a problem.

Step 3, I will show you secret keys, and basic principles which are very simple but highly effective against fear and various other problems of your child.

In the last step I will show you how to use the information obtained in the previous modules and how to articulate the action plan. I will show you how to use each little success in order to better prepare your child for life. 

 ! Everything you learn in this course can be used to solve other problems of your child !

Copyright © 2014 simonaleroy